You shouldnt have been at the other end of my road.

'Cause I don't know who I am, who I am without you,
All I know is that I should,
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you,
All I know is that I should.

You meant more to me then any one I've ever loved at all,
But you taught me how to trust myself,
And so I say to you, this is what I have to do.


I wanted you to fight for me, I wanted you to let me know how much you felt for me, I needed you to need me back, I wanted to you acknowledge my fears and disappointment, and I wanted you to know that I was anticipating pain and feeling vulnerable as ever.

I didnt expect you to steal my heart and break it as you want, you were the last thing I thought I couldn't afford to lose.

I remember the time I told you the way I felt, you know I'd be lost without you.
You know how I felt for you, you know what I had seen in you.

You can lie to me all this while, you can fake all the things you've said.
But I can't, I can't fake my words.

"You are my life. You're the only thing it would hurt to lose."

"Shall I explain how you are tempting me?" he said. It was clearly a rhetorical question. His fingers traced slowly down my spine, his breath coming more quickly against my skin. My hands were limp on his chest, and I felt lightheaded again. He tilted his head slowly and touched his cool lips to mine a second time, very carefully, parting them slightly. And then I collapsed. " Bella?" His voice was alarmed as he caught me and held me up. You...made...me...faint," I accused him dizzily. "WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH YOU?" he groaned in exasperation. "Yesterday I kiss you, and you attack me! Today you pass out on me!"


:)

Reverie

ERINNA says:
i wish i can write my own book, get it published and have the whole world read it y'know?
aqil says:
you can
aqil says:
if thats what you dream of
aqil says:
actually
aqil says:
thats my dream too
ERINNA says:
yeah i've always dreamed of being able to write beautifully

Are we in denial?

You think you're right, you think you can never be wrong.
You refused to accept, you refused to digest the other information.

So, why do we tell the truth sometimes? Why can't we just keep it to ourselves? Why do we tend to blurt out the things that we shouldn't?

There are some people whose afraid to be honest sometimes, because honesty isn't the best approach. Am I right?

We tell the truth, and we feel relieved. Once everything is out in the open, we stop worrying.
We deny things because we don't want to hurt a feeling nor hurt our own feelings.

In the end of the day, all we need is to be close to somebody. We need at least, one person who we can be completely honest with and able to accept us for who we really are.

That's why we need trust, to withstand whatever consequences that we might come upon. Trust the other person, and hoping that other person will do the same. That's how it works, that's how we overcome the difficult circumstances.

Something to share

This is by far, the most captivating book I have ever read. It took me only a day, to finish the whole book. It's a pretty short story, but it was beautifuly written.

So, the story revolves around Kate Fitzgerald who has died and to her astonishment, she finds herself wandering and hovering around in a limbo like state. She's also able to invisibly travel above and visit her friends, family and her beloved home.

Not only she's able to see what is happening after her demise, but she discovers many things in her life that she didnt know before.

You have to read the book by yourself, I'm not a good story-teller :p

There's a thin line between make-up and break-up

The constant fights we have, does it ever go away?
I hope it does, because it's getting harder each day.


I'm not fine, not okay. How I wish things are not ugly as it seems, I've never been in this kind of situation before. My previous relationship didnt encounter this kind of issue, I can't say that it went smooth but in the beginning of it, it was really nice.

Maybe he's not the right one for me, there's even hardly something in common between us. Everything I say, doesnt seem to make sense to him. It's all crap and bullshit. For all I know, I was pulling out every nerve I have to explain things to him and making him understand. I am practically entangled.

My head's too heavy now, maybe I need space and time. Also, I need comfort. I lost the will to fight, and I'm trying my best to tolerate. Am I capable of losing this guy? I don't have the answer.

I will try to figure things out, I will make a decision. Hopefully, it will be a wise one :)

Is it something that we just forgive and move on, or there's more to it?

ERINNA says:
I want you to not shut me down, if things get rough. I want you to let me in, even though we're fighting like crazy. I want you to still be able to see me even if we're not in good terms. You have to know, i'm freaking fragile and i can break any time, and i'm sorry that you'll always be the victim but i'm trying. So what's your verdict?


Something happened before that, something that has led me to the road of my insides. I'm still trying to digest everything, everything that has been said. A small part of me kept bugging me to let it go, you know. Soft whispers came, telling me that I can't go through this anymore. I can't keep up with the never-ending fights. But, I can't let go.


I was trying to make things up, but he thinks he was the one who tried to make things up the whole day. I know it's bloody hard to put up with me, I have terrible mood swings. And when i'm having my mood swings, and you happen to tickle me at the wrong part then you're just asking for a storm.

I can't elaborate, sorry.